Something I have been thinking about quite a lot over the last couple of weeks is how would I define my work ethic. Do I HAVE a work ethic, and if so is it a good one or not?
What got me on this subject were some events of the last month or so, both at home and at the office.
First – I am still trying to adjust to this new schedule. After going for so long with no real set hours for going to bed or having to get up I have to try and cut myself some slack as I adjust to this new early, at least for me, bedtime and my weekday alarm going off at 06:30 am. Not that I actually get UP at that time – I hit “snooze” several times before that happens. But I am not one of those who routinely open their eyes and rolls right out of bed. It usually takes me a while to adjust to the idea of sun, being awake and then actually getting into motion. I have always been this way. My mother says that even as an infant I would lay in my crib and just blink, look around or mutter to myself for a long while before I decided I was hungry or ready to actually get up.
I also don’t need much time to get ready in the morning. Showering for me is an evening activity and as I only wash my hair once a week it is just a matter of washing my face, deodorant, brush my teeth, make-up, get dressed and grab lunch from the fridge and I am out the door. Though I can experience a hitch in the schedule when it comes to the dressing part depending on my mood or if I discover something is not fitting the way I want on a particular day. But on average about 30 minutes is what it runs for me from getting out of bed to walking out the door.
It is once I arrive at the office where I feel things go off track a bit. Now don’t get me wrong I am glad to once again be able to earn the money I need to support myself, the girls and the cats. I think it is just that I am feeling rather at loose ends in some ways. From previous experience at being the “new kid” I know that things in the beginning can be slow as not only do I have to learn a new set of acronyms, procedures, names and timelines but those I will be working with need time to get to know me and my skill set and ways as well.
However that does not mean it is easy to adjust. Going from my last position where most days, especially during the last few years, it was non-stop all day with a lot of varied tasks to keep track of, to being at home. Focused on the job search and then my writing, the quilt group each week and being able to set my own schedule to this more structured environment.
Well, structured in some ways – not so much in other. In some ways I am feeling as though I was tossed into the deep end of a pool where I could not see bottom and there are no railings nearby. At other times I feel completely adrift with no direction and no purpose. I don't feel that my role here is really well defined and neither are my duties. On one hand some people would say "Great, you can create your own job" - however I know that I do better with more structure.
I have been assigned some specific tasks – but frankly, at this point none of them seem all that challenging or complex to me. Yes there are a myriad of moving parts but nothing more than keeping people focused and on track in sending me their information. Which leaves me a lot of time, too much time actually, without a clear game plan of what needs to be done. Or how.
Add to that the snowstorm we had here about four weeks ago, the one two weeks ago, Amy’s passing then my acquiring her cats and I find myself just wanting to stay in bed and not even try to come to work some days. Does that mean I don’t have as strong a work ethic as say my grandparents – or someone who would get up at 05:30 am to shovel out their car so they could get into the office regardless?
And then there is the technology factor. And why is it much too easy to waste time on the computer? I know there are things I need to do around the house – I just cannot seem to find the motivation and/or energy to tackle them. And I am not sure why. Is it the season? A mood swing? An onset of menopause? Or just laziness?
Just feeling rather “stuck” with no clear sense of how to UN-stick myself. What are your methods of coping when you feel overwhelmed and lackluster?
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